Amy thinks about secrets and old ruins and time.
Four years on the TARDIS had been far more than Amy had expected.
Not that she had any expectations before hand. The Doctor was always unpredictable at best, with his crazy brown hair and jittery, dizzy-making energy. He had a grin on at all times (even when taking down a dictator), and Amy knew he was always trying to make her happy. When Amy began to feel a little down, he would take her for ice cream in the halls of a Martian bazaar, or awkwardly make a joke that would cheer her up and make her roll her eyes. In fact, she couldn't remember the last time she was unhappy.
Something about that bothered her. Especially considering that she couldn't remember the last time she thought of Rory.
Adventure after adventure. It was getting addicting, and Amy was beginning to forger what Earth felt like.
One time, the Doctor opened up the TARDIS door to reveal a big forest Tree trunks that looked a hundred feet high, and creatures that looked familiar, yet different. Amy breathed in the sweet air, and recognized the scent.
"Hang on, I thought you were taking me to a Finasian circus! But this smells like--"
"Earth?" the Doctor said, smiling proudly. Crossing his arms in front of him, he said "Well, I thought this would be a nice surprise."
"So, when are we? Is this modern day?" asked Amy.
"Umm...I decided the "when" should be a surprise to both of us," he said sheepishly.
"You got us here on Earth by accident, " she said.
"Why would you think that?" said the Doctor far too defensively..
Smirking, Amy ran ahead. This place was a mystery, and mysteries couldn't be resisted.
She ran through the trees, a sea of green and brown under her. In front of her were what looked like ruins. Colorful symbols were written across the rock, displaying odd events featuring giant bird men and great battles. The drawings of a group of people, slaving under the hot sun, was in front of Amy. It made her feel small, in some ways.
“It's rather beautiful, isn't it?” said the Doctor. He touched the rock, tracing his fingers over the drawings. He studied the yellow stone, and his eyes were lost in another place.
“What is it?” Amy asked. “Like, where do the ruins come from? It looks like some sort of Mayan thing.”
“Pond!” said the Doctor. He wheeled around to face her, and the old look was gone, replaced with “naughty Amy” look. “It's not Mayan, it's Aztec! Clearly very different!” He shook his head disapprovingly.
“Well, sorry if I can't tell one old ruin from another!” said Amy. Then her eyes widened. “Can we go back to when the ruins were like, well, busy and filled with actual people?”
“That'd be a splendid idea! We could go back to the Aztec's heyday. They were a little bloody, but were nice when you got to know them. Except for their demise. Conquistadors, not too nice.,”, said the Doctor. His eyes narrowed, and Amy thought she saw him shudder.
Quicker than she could blink, he was walking to the TARDIS. He opened the blue door, and called back “Come along, Pond. There's a wonderful marathon on the planet Jupiter that I want to enroll in.” He immediately almost ran into the TARDIS, leaving Amy to wonder what was wrong. She had never seen the Doctor leave a place so quickly.
No matter how many times she asked the Doctor why he wanted to leave so quickly, but he would never answer. He would say that there was no reason, or that he wasn't feeling well that day. He was hiding something, and Amy couldn't help but be hurt by it.
“I thought there were any secrets between us,” muttered Amy, to herself after yet another particularly blatant attempt to ignore the question.
The Doctor, who had begun talking about the architecture of the Roman village they were in, stopped and turned to her, and said “There will always be secrets between us, Amy.”
“What do you mean?” said Amy. She was slightly horrified, nit by what he said, but the cool way he had said it.
“What do I mean by what? By aqueducts?” said the Doctor.
“No, what you just said about secrets?” said Amy.
“Don't remember saying anything. Are you feeling well, Pond?” asked the Doctor.
Amy was about to argue, when a flying wasp man with a spear appeared, and Amy and the Doctor were immediately sidetracked by an adventure involving a gladiator match, flying wasps, and a talking rabbit. Afterward, Amy would rationalize the conversation as just something her mind made up.
One time, Amy was awakened by the murmurs echoing throughout the ship. She woke up, and after trying to find the source of the sound, saw that the Doctor was sleep-talking in one of the TARDIS rooms. He was somehow resting on the wall upside-down, and arguing violently with someone. Amy, careful not too wake him up, crept closer to hear.
“Barbara...time cannot be...Aztec slaughter...cannot interfere...Cameca...Roz...Rory...Amy...” said the Doctor. His mouth was in a horrible grimace, and he was moving around violently (without falling off the wall, which seemed impossible.)
Amy decided to wake him up (not without talking a picture of him to tease him later about it, of course.) She tapped him on the head, but he only opened his eyes briefly, smiled dreamily, and fell on the floor. And then went back to sleep.
“He'd be hopeless without me,” she said.
She continued walking around the TARDIS. The walls looked different in the dark, with the walls looking grayer somehow. Amy always found her way back to her room when she wandered around, but Amy never got the sense that she had found all the places in the TARDIS.
She turned the corner, and saw a young girl. She had dark skin, and was wearing a woven shirt. Amy had no idea what was going on, but tapped the girl on the shoulder.
Amy's hand went through the woman.
“Um, Doctor, what's going on?” she called out.
“No need to shout so loud, young lady”, said a voice behind her. She turned around to see a white-haired old man behind her. “And why are you on my TARDIS?”
“Who are you?” Amy asked.
“The Doctor,” said the old man. “That girl is a shadow, produced by the TARDIS. A symptom of the connection between me and the ship.”
“I know the Doctor. He's a young bloke with a bow tie,” she said.
“What?” the old man said. He hummed to himself in thought. “Well then, he might be a future me. Quite intriguing. That would make you a future traveler, I presume.”
“Actually, I'm a present traveler,” said Amy.
“It's all a matter of perspective, young girl,” said the old man. “Where are you from?”
“England,” said Amy.
“Another Earthling?” said the Doctor, frowning.
Amy didn't quite like the way he said “Earthling”, but he ignored him. There were more important things going on. “Why is that girl here? You said it was a connection between you and the ship...what does that girl have to with the Doctor?”
“Well, let me see,” said the old man. Peering at the girl, he shuddered. “Ah. It seems that the ship has seen fit to remind me of a particularly morbid part of my life. You see, I once went to the Aztec time period, and one of my companions took it upon herself to try to 'advance' that society. Ha! Thinking she could change the entire flow of history, just because she wants to. Time cannot be rewritten.”
“My Doctor and I rewrite time every other day,” said Amy. This arrogant and fatalistic Doctor was nothing like the one she knew.
“If you say so,” said the Doctor.
The child turned around, and eyed the Doctor intently. She whispered a word into the Doctor's ear, and showed him a brooch.
The Doctor stepped back quickly, and nearly fell. Amy caught the old man, whose eyes were wide.
'”What's wrong?” asked Amy.
The Doctor pushed himself off her, and said to the child “What do you want me to do? Time cannot be rewritten!”
The child said nothing, and walked away.
The old man was looking off into the distance, like he was thinking about events a million miles away.
“Um, what just happened?” repeated Amy.
“Why don’t you keep your nose out of it?” snarled the Doctor.
“Sorry,” said Amy. “You just looked like you saw a ghost.”
After a pause, the man said “Sorry. It's just...time is like a wave. It sweeps things in its path, and people in it. I may not approve of any attempt to rewrite history, but I cannot fault the desire to. Sometimes, I wish I could do more to...help save a few who were in the path. Imagine that! A lime, I mean time traveler who wants even more influence over time.” The deep sadness in his eyes reminded Amy of her own Doctor.
“I guess that's the big joke. No matter what you have, ya always want more,” said Amy.
“Yes, I suppose,” said the Doctor.
Amy suddenly realized that, if this was a younger version of the Doctor, she could ask him all sorts of questions. “Wait, so, tell me everything about you. I want to know all your knowledge and stuff. Lord knows my Doctor never tells me any of his secrets.”
The Doctor cracked an odd smile. Holding his lapels, he said “My dear Amy, there will always be secrets between us.”
Amy woke up with a start. Rushing outside her room, she saw the Doctor attempting to juggle toy elephants.
“Good morning, Pond,” he said, and continued sheepishly “this isn't what it looks like.”
“Did you happen to see an old white-haired man around here?” asked Amy.
The Doctor thought about it, still juggling. “Not recently.”
Later that day, Amy and the Doctor were in at a floating table on 2165 New York, drinking juice. The Doctor turned to her, and said “Say, we should check on Rory one of these days.”
Amy nearly dropped her drink. “You haven't mentioned him since...forever.”
“Well, I was just thinking. Our adventures are bunches of fun, but occasionally, something might happen where I misplace you,” said the Doctor.
“Misplace me?” said Amy, raising her eyebrows.
“You do tend to walk off somewhere dangerous.,” pointed out the Doctor.
“That's just because you're too slow,” said Amy.
“That's not true! But anyway, it would be nice if there was someone to keep an eye on you,” he said. He grabbed a rose from the table, and stared at it intently. There was a sad look in the Doctor's eyes.
“I'm not going anywhere,” Amy said decisively, tousling his hair. She grinned, and continued “You can't get rid of me that easy.”
“Good,” said the Doctor. “I'd hate to misplace you forever.”
He placed the rose back on the table, slipped, and crashed into the table. He stood back up, and looked around. “Horrible floating table. Those things are always malfunctioning.”
There was no more conversation about it from there. But Amy thought about what the Doctor had said. There was a horrible sadness behind the Doctor eye's, every now and again—it ripped at Amy's confidence, chipping away at her resolve. Amy pushed it underneath herself, but she wondered how long it could stay submerged.