Telling Time

[theotherbadwolf.livejournal.com]

Telling Time
Summary: Things the Doctor couldn't tell Rose. And then, when he finally did.
Characters: The Doctor (Nine, Ten, Eleven, TenII), Rose
Pairings: The Doctor/Rose
Rating: G
Warnings: Kind of angsty, the Doctor's POV (various regenerations and one meta-crisis), takes lines from “The Parting of the Ways”, "Doomsday” as well as "Let's Kill Hitler”.
Author's Notes: Beta's probably not the right word for it but dreamflower02 took a look at it for me just to help me decide it was actually worth posting.
Inspired by the "Tell” challenge at who_contest. 400 words exactly.
Soooo then, anything I feel like noting here (ie, let me ramble). First time trying to write anything with Nine's POV in mind. Also, despite what you probably think about me at this point, I'm probably not actually some sort of crazed Doctor/Rose shipper (though the pairing is one of my top two – the other being Doctor/Master). Inspiration just keeps leading me this way. Oh yes, and since TenII is the 'happy ending', his POV is the shortest of the lot. Annnd that is pretty much it.
Disclaimer: Not mine, I'm not claiming them.


There's so much he'd still wanted to show her, so much more he probably should have said – after all, she'd stumbled into his life and changed everything, because nothing good ever came of him being left on his own. Oh, but he gets that now, he does – and as long as he's still him, he always will.

Of course, that isn't going to last. Because some other bloke is going to show up, hopefully someone with better ears, maybe someone who can tell her all the things he suddenly knows he always meant to – because this new him is going to exist all because of her.

'Rose, before I go, I just want to tell you, you were fantastic. Absolutely fantastic. And do you know what? So was I.'

–

'Quite right, too. And I suppose, if it's one last chance to say it, Rose Tyler – '

And just like that, it's over – Rose is gone – and once more, he couldn't tell her what he needed to, one more thing he'd meant to all along. Oh, if he was lucky he could find another gap, burn up another sun, maybe give Rose two more minutes – but then, what? Because they'd get to the end of that, and there still wouldn't be enough time – even if the cracks were limitless, he can't make Rose live her life two minutes at a time.

So what he tells himself is that Rose had to have known what he he meant, and it doesn't really matter that those words didn't actually get said.

–

Only they did need saying, after all. Maybe it's because sometimes he can't help but think about her, about how he'd forced her hand in making what he knew was the only right choice – by not saying what he could have, in the end, leaving that to the other Doctor instead. It might just be that he's feeling maudlin. Or, at this point, it might just be that he's really actually in an incredible amount of pain, and he happens to be dying.

So when voice interface shows him someone he likes, all he can say is: 'Ohhh, thanks! Give me guilt.' She's one thing he'd rewrite time for, if only he was able – maybe because he knows it's impossible, no matter the fact it's exactly what he wants.

–

Once he tells her what he meant to, it can't be said enough.