Oh, this is such a haunting idea. First, I love what you did with the italic breaks between each part, each person whose cruel fate the Doctor had to face in those alternate realities. The opening part, the one about his two hearts, the trickster god, the one about his companions—they were all brilliant. In the confrontations themselves, the feelings evoked were so raw—I love how the Doctor had to face two blows each time (one for each heart ;)): the pain and grief of a person he cared about, in the name of another (well, as a common theme, Sylvia and River's cases being slight variations), and the accusation and hatred, the blame he would naturally put on himself magnified a thousand times by the rage of people he held dear, people who used to love him. Amy, Rory, Sylvia—they were all so desperate and vibrant. The grandfather part with Sylvia was a harsh blow as well, with his own rage flaring, but his knowing he couldn't use his own grief to justify himself, and she wouldn't care what he had been through—it would make no difference to her. (The nitpicker in me wondered how Sylvia recognized him, but it's an alternate reality and he's only traveling in his mind, he could appear as Ten to her…) The Clara part was also so terribly cruel, with her seeing the children die, with Mr. Clever's kiss—oh my :D It's funny in a way that Clara is the only one who does not blame him, but that is also because she knows Mr. Clever is in command, the part about her being able to tell the difference for certain was good. The Doctor is out. Have a nice day.—oh dear, that is cynical, and chilling :D And I also like the part in parenthesis about Mr. Clever keeping him alert in the back of his own mind to make him watch the show…
The TARDIS' hostility hurt so much too, and River's accusations, with Kovarian standing at her back. I got chills at the Time Lords crying his true name throughout the universe, the greatest, cruelest, truest accusation of all (well, as far as they're concerned…). It was chilling to see him caught between two deaths that way, on the TARDIS or on Gallifrey. Wowwww.
I mentioned I really like your Clara voice in the ending part, the quickness, sharpness of her, that birdlike thing she's got going indeed, the insight—the girl can't be fooled. And the Doctor being all silly and pretending everything is all right. I chuckled at the Bermuda part. And the ending is beautiful, quite haunting—even if those things never did happen, they could</> have, and in a way the sense of responsibility is still there… and the pain.
Only tidbit—you've got a past tense that slipped in into the present ones: "she asked me, vitriol in her voice". The rest is neat ^_^ Love!
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The TARDIS' hostility hurt so much too, and River's accusations, with Kovarian standing at her back. I got chills at the Time Lords crying his true name throughout the universe, the greatest, cruelest, truest accusation of all (well, as far as they're concerned…). It was chilling to see him caught between two deaths that way, on the TARDIS or on Gallifrey. Wowwww.
I mentioned I really like your Clara voice in the ending part, the quickness, sharpness of her, that birdlike thing she's got going indeed, the insight—the girl can't be fooled. And the Doctor being all silly and pretending everything is all right. I chuckled at the Bermuda part. And the ending is beautiful, quite haunting—even if those things never did happen, they could</> have, and in a way the sense of responsibility is still there… and the pain.
Only tidbit—you've got a past tense that slipped in into the present ones: "she asked me, vitriol in her voice". The rest is neat ^_^ Love!