who_contest | Chameleon ('Blaze' challenge entry)

Title: Chameleon
Rating: PG
Genre: General/Angst
Word Count: 603
Pairings or Characters: John Smith/Tenth Doctor, Joan Redfern
Spoilers: Set in the Season 3 episode, The Family of Blood
Warnings: None

Boom.

The ground trembled at his feet and the sky rumbled high above him.

“What are you going to do?”

The blasted thing ticked in his hand, whispered in his mind. Shadows crept in the corners of his vision and random little pinpricks of light sparkled like miniature stars. He turned to her, his rock, his matron, his everything. Her clear blue eyes surveyed him, calmly it seemed, but it felt like they were waiting to pronounce a judgement on him.

Another blast rocked the little cottage. He heard some roof tiles slipping off and shattering on the ground outside; he also heard Benjamin gasp. No –no, he wasn’t supposed to hear that. How could he hear a gasp over shells exploding? How could the darkest shadows shimmer in his vision and how could moonlight be dim? How could he leave her?

How could he leave her?

“How could I leave you?” His voice was thick, quavery, wet. Hers was low and clear and strong.

“Quite easily, I should imagine. One little click, that’s all.”

He felt a shudder pass through him. It wasn’t a chill –it was laughter. A shudder of laughter. He found it funny, he supposed… What sort man was this Doctor, to find this funny –and then he remembered he wasn’t a man at all.

Another shudder passed through him. A human shudder.

“I –I can’t do it. God forgive me, Joan, I can’t do it!” His head was buried in her shoulder again, and her warm arms were wrapped around him as she rocked gently.

“I’ll help you do it,” she murmured.

“No! No,” he sat up quickly, wiping tears and snot away with his sleeve. Hmm, that didn’t look right. Goodness, had he contracted some sort of useless human virus while he was-

“No.” He clutched her hand hard, mostly to steady and centre himself. The shadows were dancing little fairies now. “I can’t have you do that, it –it’s too cruel.” He shook his head and fresh tears slipped down his cheeks. “It’s too cruel…”

Her rough fingers found his chin and gently swivelled him around to face her. “In all my years, I have learnt but one thing –that life is always cruel. If it is kind, it is for a few rare moments and those moments are to be cherished all the more because of their rarity. So I,” her voice quavered for the first time, “I will cherish every moment I spent with you. Until my very last breath.”

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, “I’m so sorry… I can’t promise you that.”

“You don’t have to,” she stood up, pulling him to his feet, “because, John Smith,” she squeezed his hand, “your last breath is now.”

He was sobbing, but he let her lead him out the kitchen door, into the little vegetable garden in the back. The earth was shaking more than ever and explosions were setting the trees whipping. Boom. The village was ablaze, the sky aglow from its burning light. His breath hitched, his heart twisted. It was horrific. It was beautiful.

She stood in front of him, his hands in hers, the watch within their clasp. Her eyes were ever so steady, ever so clear, like bottomless pools. He could lose himself in them forever, if only he let himself, if only…

Boom.

She sighed so softly he only felt it. Was he supposed to feel a sigh? Ah, molto bene, that would mean neurodermalogical responses were firing up-

“Joan,” he hiccoughed.

Boom.

She smiled her little smile. “Goodbye, John.”

Her thumb found his, and together, they pressed down.

Click.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

gallif-migrant.livejournal.com

This was the episode that made me realize Tennant could be the Doctor, just like my 11 is, so I like the episode, and whatever relates to it. Beautiful.

jay-vingt-six.livejournal.com

Thanks so much! I love this episode too -this episode actually was the one that really made me take a step back and see him as fully as I could, both good and bad. Up until then, the Doctor was this ideal hero, who, if he made mistakes, made them for the greater good. This was the first time the consequences of the Doctor's adventures really hit me... And yes, it only made me appreciate the Doctor more, and cemented Tennant as being my Doctor!

TL;DR, I adore this episode too, and thanks again!

In case you didn't know, the episode is based on a Seventh Doctor novel (of the same name) by the same person (Paul Cornell) who wrote the script for this episode. I heard it's a good book, so see if you can find it to buy...or since it's probably out of print, maybe use other means? (But try to buy it first. It should be on Amazon.)

I was aware it was a novel, but I didn't know which Doctor featured in it! Doctor Who merch/novels are hard to come by where I live, but I tend to scourge second-hand bookstores for some Whovian literature, and I've found a lot more than I thought I would! Anyhow yes, there's always amazon, though that would probably be expensive if it involved importing the book from some other country...And Human Nature would be a book I would love to add to my as-yet meagre collection... Thanks for the tips!

arcanetrivia

Oh, that was beautiful. I recently watched this episode, and this captures a possibility for that offscreen moment so well.

flowsoffire.livejournal.com

This is AMAZING. Gorgeous descriptions of the chaotic surroundings, such breath-takingly powerful emotions—and I just loved the way the Doctor's thinking was resurfacing in brief flickers and thoughts and perceptions, mixing up with John's despair and seeming to practically insult his feelings, they were so alien. And it's the Doctor, yet we feel so much for John, human and frightened and hurting, that it feels just awful to imagine he is going to die so the Doctor can return. You nailed Joan's voice perfectly, strong and wise and gentle—I could really hear her in my head—and his devotion for her, his need were so clear. Beautiful, brilliant. I love the ending ♥

Favourite line:
How could he hear a gasp over shells exploding? How could the darkest shadows shimmer in his vision and how could moonlight be dim? How could he leave her?

Thank you so much! Yes, like I said in one of my previous comments, this episode is the first time I really thought, "Hey, the Doctor's ALIEN, you know. And humans are getting hurt". For the first time it made him seem culpable, for the first time he wasn't this all-powerful being always good and always right. Yeah, I marathoned through seasons 1 and 2 and I was hopelessly obsessed with the Doctor by then... this episode sort of stopped me short and sort of put things, all the things in the show, into perspective for me.

I'm just saying all this because this is what I wanted to capture in the fic, small as it is. From your lovely comments I believe at least some of it has, and that makes me enormously happy! Thanks again!