Fic rec: The Master's Companion

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Title: The Master’s Companion
Author: JulisCaesar
Genre Humor
Rating: All ages
Characters:The Master (Ainley), the Fifth Doctor
Words: 2103
Summary: For some reason, there is an elephant in the Master's TARDIS. He would like to register his displeasure with this.
Why I'm Recommending this: This is an hilarious story about the Master and how he utterly fails in not having an elephant as a companion. I laughed myself silly while reading it.

At the time, the Master didn’t know it was an elephant. All he knew was that it was a pigsoleximas, that it was large and grey and oddly shaped, and that it was in the middle of his console room, blocking his access to the navigational panel.

The Master stared at the pigsoleximas in the vague hope it would move out of the way.

The pigsoleximas chewed noisily on something.

Glaring at it, the Master edged carefully around the side of the console room. It probably wasn’t a ‘farewell gift’ from his latest lot of failed minions, which was good, but it also probably wasn’t an actual gift from the Doctor.

There was another long pause, during which the Master contemplated a number of reactions, and the pigsoleximas continued chewing.

Finally the creature moved an appendage—probably an overly long nose—and waved it at him.

Hello, the TARDIS translation matrix said helpfully.

The Master was unsure whether to glare at the pigsoleximas or the TARDIS console and settled for glaring at nothing in particular. “Go away.”