Oh. This is fantastic. The way you wrote River's adventures in the datacore is amazing: without a doubt my favourite excerpt. River being selfish enough to lose herself in stories and lose the children altogether. And the possibilities described: all the books in all of human History. A mind timeless and daring like River's would not resist. The structure is on point -an open secret disclosed by the end, another between parentheses that includes words from the very first story the children heard from River- and Charlotte and Dr. Moon are scarily accurate in their speech and roles around River. In fact, the whole simplicity as well as cruelty and kindness of this universe is so perfectly written. It's a program, but still her final resting place, her "Heaven". It's so striking how much you managed to pour in of the original datacore Universe depicted in the short time the show allowed to it. What I meant is that most writers will come with their own interpretation of it, sometimes darker, or more complex, or lighter, or more romantic, and to a certain extent it may be only natural. But here it seems so exactly fitting to the tone set in the show and on such a short length, it's quite a feat. I absolutely adored the Singing Tower being a song -or was it an extended metaphor? Perfect. Really beautifully written and intelligent. Thank you for sharing!
Favourite line: And just like that they are restored, Joshua Ella Charlotte, a surge of love so fierce it is almost painful. The opposition between the physical pain and the computer physics... The rush of names, as if they were one person -and in the datacore, surely they are one entity... And of course River being loved... Because she deserves it so much.
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Date: 2014-09-19 05:25 pm (UTC)The structure is on point -an open secret disclosed by the end, another between parentheses that includes words from the very first story the children heard from River- and Charlotte and Dr. Moon are scarily accurate in their speech and roles around River. In fact, the whole simplicity as well as cruelty and kindness of this universe is so perfectly written. It's a program, but still her final resting place, her "Heaven". It's so striking how much you managed to pour in of the original datacore Universe depicted in the short time the show allowed to it. What I meant is that most writers will come with their own interpretation of it, sometimes darker, or more complex, or lighter, or more romantic, and to a certain extent it may be only natural. But here it seems so exactly fitting to the tone set in the show and on such a short length, it's quite a feat.
I absolutely adored the Singing Tower being a song -or was it an extended metaphor? Perfect. Really beautifully written and intelligent. Thank you for sharing!
Favourite line: And just like that they are restored, Joshua Ella Charlotte, a surge of love so fierce it is almost painful. The opposition between the physical pain and the computer physics... The rush of names, as if they were one person -and in the datacore, surely they are one entity... And of course River being loved... Because she deserves it so much.