Exothermic ('Blaze' entry)

[but_can_i_be_trusted]

Title: Exothermic
Rating: G
Genre: General
Word Count: 246
Pairings or Characters: The Doctor
Spoilers: Takes place anywhere between 'The Night of the Doctor' mini-episode and 'The Time of the Doctor'
Warnings: None
Summary: For brief eternities, he blazes like a newborn star, golden energy spilling forth from every pore.

It hurts.

Regeneration is not--has never been--a pleasant experience. Far from it: DNA recombining, reconstituting as needed, body repairing itself, flesh molding into a new form. Dodgy at the best of times; crippling at the worst.

But it seems that it's getting more painful as he grows older. It never seemed to...burn before. The blood sears through his cardiovascular system, as though his arteries are filled with hydrochloric acid. Chromosomes char themselves out of existence, only to flare back again.

For brief eternities, he blazes like a newborn star, golden energy spilling forth from every pore.

Dying-dead-undead-alive. The same man, walking away in a new skin.

Cheating death. It's a good trick to have in your arsenal. Particularly when you're this good at making enemies. Naturally, it helps if they can't also regenerate--the Master always springs to mind when he thinks in those terms, a fellow death-cheater--but you can't always get what you want, now, can you?

No. You can't. So take what you have, and be grateful.

So he walks away again. Just as he always does. The new Doctor. Rewritten. Reborn. Renewed.

Part of the universe's greatest miracle: Life.

But the ghost of that burning stays within his memory, waiting to be relived. Whispers in the corners of his brain, delicately tickles his nerve endings.

So much pain. The process brings so much pain.

In the midst of the agony, there is always one microsecond when he finds himself wondering:

Wouldn't dying be better?

Comments

[but_can_i_be_trusted]

Thanks, sweetie! ♥

*hugggggggggggggg*

[ladysugarquill]

Loved it!

[but_can_i_be_trusted]

Thanks! :D

[flowsoffire.livejournal.com]

This is so intense and powerfully written, conveying the agony really strikingly. Really breath-taking, and thought-provoking that the miracle comes at such a cost, that this life means the death of a part of him, and it takes such torment to rebuild a being anew. Great work! :D Pretty impressive!

[but_can_i_be_trusted]

Thanks, sweetheart! I love when I see the prompt, and the idea just pops into my head instantly.

♥

[flowsoffire.livejournal.com]

You and me both! Always the best feeling ^_^

[gallif-migrant.livejournal.com]

This captures just how upsetting regeneration can be. That's part of the reason 10 doesn't "want to go": all that pain, that replacing, wiping away all he's been for his 2 years of life? I obviously enjoyed it. Lovely!

[but_can_i_be_trusted]

Thanks so much! ^.^

[jay-vingt-six.livejournal.com]

Oh wow, this is so beautiful! I know you've specified a particular point in the storyline, but I really must say, this is so perfect that I feel it's apt for any regeneration of the Doctor's(except maybe the first few ones since he's comparing with earlier regeneration processes). Basically, this fic is so perfectly deep and wry and Doctor-y, I just love it! Thanks so much for the great fic!

[but_can_i_be_trusted]

Thank you for the compliment! :D Much appreciated!

[arcanetrivia]

Very nice, I love the imagery and touch of angst.

[but_can_i_be_trusted]

Thanks. :)