who_contest | Dreaming Companions

Title: Dreaming Companions

Rating: G

Word Count: 1,359 words

Pairings or Characters: The Eleventh Doctor, All the main Companions (only Adric, Amy, Donna, Jack, Rory, Rose, Susan, and Sarah Jane speak)

Spoilers: If you do not know the fates of the companions I would recommend looking at them first before reading this.

Setting: Right before “The Snowmen”

Warnings: N/A

Additional Information: I will be taking on the perspective of the Doctor in this entry.

Summary: When the Doctor meets all his former companions in a dream, guilt floods him. But is reminded that he isn’t perfect and wasn’t ever meant to be.

“Doctor … where are you, Doctor ….”

I could hear voices. I could faintly recognize the voices but I couldn’t find them. I looked around and I was surrounded by a light blue mist. There seemed to be no end to the blue mist.

“Doctor! How could you leave me!?! It’s been so lonely without you! I’m not sure if I can go on any longer …”

I spotted the figure of a woman with long hair, she had her hand on her hip, and I knew her immediately. “Donna!” I shouted and started running towards a figure “Donna, I’m right here! Come towards my voice! Please!” As I ran closer to her, she disappeared from my sight. “No! Donna! Where are you?” I spun around in a whole circle before I saw two more figures next to each other. The one on the right looked like a woman while the one on the left was definitely a man.

“Doctor! I’m sorry I left you … but we are happier together now.” the woman shouted.

I knew them, I could hear little Amelia's voice and it felt as if I had been running forever to get to her. A maze was the only way I could describe this place.

“Take care of our little girl for us!” The man shouted

“Amy! Rory! Don’t leave me! Please, don’t go!” I kept shouting, but they faded away, just like Donna. Every single one of my companions, my friends, have left me, either because of death, love, their homes, or others who tore them away from me. I could feel the tears rolling down my cheeks when I hear the most painful voice.

“Grandfather!”

No, not her! I can’t face her … not Susan …

I looked at her and my hearts broke when her eyes looked into mine. Though she appeared as beautiful as the day I … I left her, she her eyes held such sadness and longing.

“Grandfather … the least you could have done was visit me and David. He’s human, I won’t be able to grow old with him. I have to disguise myself because I’m not human. I miss you so much Grandfather … please come back for me.”

My Susan, my granddaughter whom I left. The tears flew off when I ran faster towards her and I extended my hand to her, praying I could touch her. “Susan!” I was caught off guard when I tumbled into her arms and we fell to the ground. My hearts overflowed with happiness when I felt her hair, my only family left in the galaxy.

“Grandfather,” She spoke happily. “I’ll love you for ever and ever.”

I shut my eyes and held them shut to focus on the warmth of my granddaughter, but like the rest, she vanished without a trace. First despair fill me, but then anger burn inside of me. I grimaced and stood up, breathing furiously.

“Whoever is doing this I swear, you will pay dearly for this!” I shouted and started running deeper and deeper into the blue mist.

“But Doctor, you have …”

This time no figure appeared, only that voice coming from every direction. I felt something tugging me, as if I knew this voice.

“What do you mean!?! And who are you!?!” I shouted.

Nothing happened and that just made me even more angry.

“I’m the Doctor and I swear that when I get out of here you are going to pay dearly whoever you are! Understand!?!”

“Oh Doctor … I’m so sorry, you haven’t realized it yet, have you?”
This time it was a different voice. It was female and I've heard it before.

“Realized what?” I shouted back.

A two woman stepped out of mist and I stood there in horror as Sarah Jane and Rose Tyler stepped out in front of me.

“Oh Doctor, my Doctor, this isn’t real.” Sarah Jane replied.

“It’s your imagination working here.” Rose answered.

“But Donna, Rory, Amy, and Susan, I felt her! She was here!” I won’t believe this, but then again everyone couldn’t be here at the same time.

“It is all in your mind Doctor. No one here is real.” Another familiar voice spoke but this was a man's voice.

Jack walked out of the blue mist along with Martha, Mickey, Amy, Rory, and Donna.

“Jack! Martha, Mickey, Amy, Rory, and Donna!” I wanted to embrace them all and take them to my Tardis to fly around the universe. I watched as Rose walked over to the right, in front of everyone that travelled with me from my 9th regeneration and up. While Sarah Jane walked towards the left and everyone who travelled with me from my first regeneration to my eighth were behind her. I could see Susan, Ian, Barbara, Polly, Jamie, Jo, Leela, every K-9, Romanadvoratrelundar I and II, Adric, Tegan, Peri, and everyone else.

Indescribable feelings of sadness, shame, and guilt come over me and I fell down to my knees. I could remember how each of them were taken away from me. I have never allowed myself to show disappointment when they left me but looking at Martha, Ian, Barbara, and the others who left by their own free will. They represented my failure. My failure to recognize their feelings, of love, longing for home, and hatred of my core beliefs.

“Everyone is here! How have you all been, I mean besides Adric, you died, I’m so sorry.” I rambled. His face broke out in a big grin and I hear his gentle laugh.

“It was rather interesting though, the experience of dying.” Adric laughed.

“Yeah, now don’t try it again this time!" I laughed. "This is all I ever wanted! Everyone together and we can all travel together! I mean I’ve never travelled with this many people before, but I don’t mind as long as there is no fighting. Can’t stand fighting.”

“Doctor,” Sarah Jane started.
"Yes, Sarah Jane?" I asked.

“We’re-” Rose stopped.

“Not-” Jack stopped.

“No,” I said shakily. “You are.”

“Real …” Susan said as she stepped forwards. She laced her hand in mine and my other hand reached up to touch her cheek.

“But,” I choked. “Looking back, I lost you all …”

She smiled at me, “It’s okay Grandfather, we all wanted you to know that it wasn’t your fault. And that we all love you. We may be gone now, but we are always with you. You are not a bad man, Grandfather.”

“But, I lost every single one of you, Adric, Katarina, Sara, and Rory all died because of me. Rory, Rory died countless because of me!! And the rest of you I lost because I couldn’t save you, okay not all of you but most of you.”

“Doctor,” Sarah Jane said as she stepped forwards. “You were doing it for us, to protect us.”

“Raggedy man, don’t blame everything on yourself.” Amy pleaded.

“You can only do so much, Spaceman.” Donna smiled.
I couldn’t help but smile, I secretly loved it when Donna and Amy called me by their pet names.
“Grandfather, you are a good man and will always be their for Earth and it’s people. That is who you are, a Doctor that helps everyone, but that doesn’t mean you can save everyone.”

“That’s the risk we take when we step into the Tardis for the first time.” Rory said.

“You see Grandfather,” Susan smiled. “Don’t travel alone or else you become like this, blaming yourself for every little thing that goes wrong. You’re not a god, you’re not perfect Grandfather, so stop trying to be.”

“Oh Susan …” I hugged her and I could feel her again. “Thank you …”

Suddenly, my eyes opened and I heard the comforting sound of the Tardis. I stood up and looked around. It was just me and the Tardis, all alone. I sighed and went back to pulling levers and pushing buttons.

I must have fallen asleep on the Tardis console. Weird dream though.

All of a sudden, I stopped and looked up.

Susan …. don’t worry we’ll meet again, someday … and thank you again …

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

angelus2hot

I don't know the characters. (I've never made it past the Eccleston year)

But this was wonderfully done!

roseglade.livejournal.com

Thank you! :)

paynesgrey.livejournal.com

This was so sad and bittersweet in the end. Makes sense the Doctor would dream of them, all of them, because they were so important to him they are apart of him. I think you really touched on that well. Great work!

Oh Thank you!!
I believe that the Doctor values his companions more than anything even his own life! And even when he gets a new one, he still mourns for his past ones.
Thank you again!

dancingdragon3.livejournal.com

Very touching fic. And a little scary, because the Doctor has so many people he could be having nightmares about. If I was him, I'd always be afraid to go to sleep. You gave us an eerie, moving image of what could be happening when he does. Nice happy ending. But I loved the bittersweet stinger at the very end. I never thought about how Susan might still be alive somewhere :-/

Thank you!

Well, I think that's the main reason were never really see the Doctor sleep. The nightmares that man has. I'm with you, I'd be really scared of going to sleep. :D

Also, I never meant to give it an eerie twist, but if you like it then that's great!!

Yeah, I've always wondered what happened to Susan. Hopefully the writers will bring her back some time soon! I mean since she is Gallifreyan they can bring in any new actress (or actor) to play her (or him. With Missy being the Master who knows what gender she is now)!
Again, thank you so much for reading and commenting!! :D