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who_contestTitle: The Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1127 words
Characters: Joan Redfern and the 10th Doctor (A little 10/Joan)
Characters: Joan Redfern and the 10th Doctor (A little 10/Joan)
Prompt: Quote
Spoilers: Human Nature & The Family of Blood
Warnings: N/A
Episode Setting: During the end of The Family of Blood
Summary: Joan has a hard time dealing with the loss of John and receives some advice from his counterpart.
And then he left. He walked right out of the door, leaving me, and taking John Smith with him. The Doctor was just like a wolf, basking in the glory of his most recent catch. How could I have fallen for John so easily and lost him the same way.
I slowly walked over to my only piece of my beloved John and my fingers brushed lightly against the worn leather cover. Inside were the only remaining memories of my beloved friend. After I had picked his journal up, I collapsed to my knees unable to stand with the weight of our love dragging me to the ground. I couldn’t hold it in any longer. I needed to let my guard down, if only this one time. At that moment, I cried.
My John, my beloved John Smith is gone. Forever.
Tear filled my eyes and blurred my vision as I looked up to heaven. All I could do was ask God to send me an angel to heal the ragged mess of a heart that I had left. The Doctor had ruined my life by stealing John’s away from me and my world. And when his face remained the same as my John, it seemed as if he did it just to spite me. I promised myself I’d never forgive him for it. Because of him, all this hurt and suffering manifested in my life. This pain wouldn’t have been in my life if the wolf hadn’t worn the sheep’s clothing so perfectly.
Why has the universe been so cruel to me? What happened to our good times together? Why has it left me in the darkness to fend for myself?
I clutched the journal closer to my bleeding heart to see if it would stop the pain. It did nothing. My breath was still battered and my heart still screamed. It was a hollow and agonizing scream to be reunited with it’s other half.
I thought about how I would move on. If I would go back to the school or not. If I’d study to become a doctor like how Martha said she would (the thought had interested me). If I’d ever meet another man like my John.
No, I will never met a man like John, ever again.
Suddenly, I felt arms wrap around me. I looked up and it was him. It was the wolf in sheep’s clothing again. I tried to push him away from me but he wouldn’t let go. I pushed away hard, yet still he clung to me as if our lives depended on it.
“Please Doctor,” I said, bitterly. “Just leave me alone.”
“I’m sorry.” He replied, ever so sweetly. “I never meant to hurt you. Not in the slightest.”
“We’ll the damage was done. Now, go away!” I shouted and hit his shoulder, but he wouldn’t let go.
“Just …” He trailed off. “... let it all out. Just once, I want to help you as the Doctor.”
“Let it all out! You expect me, after everything that has happened to confide my feelings in you! You truly are mad.”
“Not exatically mad, just very, very concerned.” He held me tighter at which I thought I would burst. “I know what the universe can do to people. I know what it has done to me. It can leave the happiest of men devastated and it can make the most destitute, glad again. The universe has been described as cruel and wonderful both at the same time when in truth, it’s neither. The universe is what you make of it. It can be happy or it can be somber. I don’t want you to throw your chance at this universe, because of my mistakes. You humans only get one shot at life and I don’t want you living in pain just because the universe sent you the wrong man at the wrong time.”
My breath seemed to be caught in my throat and the pain was too much for me to bear any longer. I hated him. Every time I laid eyes upon his face I was reminded of what he did to me but this time I didn’t look at his face. This time I looked at his heart and took comfort in that. It seemed like hours he sat there holding me and … I didn’t mind.
Suddenly, he pulled my face out of his shoulder and gazed into my eyes meaningfully. In a flurry of movements his hand reached the back of my neck and pushed my lip up into his. I didn’t know how to react so I embraced it head on. My heartbeat sped up faster than it ever had before, just like it did when John would kiss me. It felt both wrong and right, all at the same time. On one side, it was the wolf who had taken my beloved away from me whilst the feeling of my John’s passion swelled through the kiss on the other side. The Doctor’s action was confusing to me and it also seemed, it was confusing him as well.
As we pulled away, I saw the familiar dance that John’s eyes would participate in when he was happy. We held our gaze for a few second, but I quickly looked back at the ground, embarrassed.
“You shouldn’t have done that.” I replied, solemnly. “My answer still hasn’t changed. I won’t travel with you while you wear his face.”
“I never wanted your answer to change.” The Doctor smiled in a childlike manner. “I mean I hoped but, I just … I don’t know. To be honest, I thought you’d like one last kiss from me, er, John Smith.”
He stood up and pulled me to my feet, all in the same swift motion. His smile was so contagious I was barely able to keep a straight face, mostly becauses it was John’s smile too. He looked at the diary in my hands and motioned towards it.
“You want to keep it? I was planning to take it back but you can keep it if you really want it.”
“Yes, I’d like that very much.” I bit my lip. “Just remember, Doctor, I won’t ever forget him. I’ll always love my John. Forever. And I won’t ever forget you either. The wolf who dressed in sheep's clothing.”
“I’m sure you won’t. I’m glad to have had such an admirable lover. I was very lucky.” The Doctor’s smile saddened and he turned and headed towards the door. As he opened it, he looked back and smirked. “I won’t forget you either, Joan Redfern. The woman who loved a lost sheep, who gave it a home, and came up with only a wolf to show for it.”
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