For Want of a Box (Future Shock)

[dancingdragon3.livejournal.com]

Title: For Want of a Box

Author: dancingdragon3

Characters: Jenny, Vastra, and Strax

Length: ~ 600 words

Rating: G

Genre: humor

Disclaimer: Written for fun not profit.

Summary: Vastra and the gang attempt to use a vortex manipulator to travel to Scotland. Unfortunately, it also sends them centuries into the past. This is me getting my silly on.

Note: Written for who_contest One Shot Challenge # 50 - Future Shock. And for puzzleprompts February Challenge.

Jenny’s chest strained against her stays with every unpleasant gasp of air. She longed to hold a cloth to her face to stifle the stench, but needed both hands to keep her skirts out of the way. Coal soot and horses had nothing on farm animals and their excrement. How could one live in such close quarters with them?

“Halt, scum! Hold still to be obliterated!”

Jenny cringed at the booming voice, heading faster in its direction. Dust kicked up around her as she ran between the crude dwellings and animal pens. It wasn’t easy giving attention to the uneven, unpaved ground, while also keeping an eye out for the local inhabitants. She hoped they were all out in the fields. She was fairly certain farmers did that everyday.

Strax lay flat on his back in the dirt, with a couple of black, strangely short chickens pecking at him. His head was far too close to a pile of dung. With a grimace, Jenny knelt down at his side anyway. She shooed at the fat hen examining her skirt, then shook the soldier's arm. “Strax. Strax, can you hear me?”

Strax’s eyes popped open. “This attack will not go unanswered!”

“Shh, what happened? Get away,” she hissed back at the persistent dinner entree.

“That girl hit me with her primitive rifle.”

“It’s a rake.” Truly, there was too much going on to keep the impatience from her voice. She helped him to sit up, edging him away from the steaming leavings. “And we are chasing a boy.”

Strax jumped to his feet. “Impossible.” He stomped one boot directly onto the - “My reconnaissance has confirmed she wears a hat identical to yours. Ma’am.” He nodded officially.

“Strax...” She groaned as quietly as possible. Fished her handkerchief out of her pocket. “Come along, we’ve got to stop him before he alerts the whole village about us. And keep your voice down. And get away.” She kicked this time. An indignant squawk and some threatening wing flapping was the response, but finally the two chickens waddled away on their impossibly stumpy legs.

Vastra came around a nearby hut. “Jenny? Strax? I believe we have worse problems than being hunted down for hags, witches, or whatever they call evil spirits in this place and time.”

Jenny was relieved her wife appeared unhurt from her own chase. “Did you secure the...vortex manipulator?” It was always thrilling, saying these new words.

“I did.” Vastra cradled the watch-like device in her hand. Its glass casing held a small crack. “Unfortunately, it was damaged by that a - ancient peasant. I’m afraid we are trapped here for the moment.”

“Well, yes, I’d say that’s worse.” She brushed some straw from Vastra’s shoulder, wishing a kiss was appropriate at a time like this.

“My dear, we cannot become distra - oh, well, now here we are.” Vastra’s attention had turned to something behind Jenny’s back.

“At last! We stand to -”

The Sontaran’s cry was quickly interrupted by Vastra’s sharp, “Strax, stay as you are!”

Jenny turned to see almost a dozen Dark Age Scots striding across the field in their direction, all armed with rakes, shovels, and pitchforks. The women were as muscular as the men. That most of both sexes seemed fearful, did nothing to reassure her.

“And this is why it’s better to time travel inside a physical conveyance,” she summed up.

“Let us hope we live to hear the Doctor say ‘I told you so’,” Vastra said, giving Jenny’s hand a reassuring squeeze.

“If not, we shall have the honor of dying in glorious battle!”