I am Human ("Body Parts" entry)

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Title: I am Human

Word Count:    530

Characters: Oswin Oswald, 11^th Doctor (Chin boy)

Spoilers: “Asylum of the Daleks” Season 7 Episode 1

Summary: Oswin struggles between Dalek and Human, and the Doctor is caught in the middle.

It has been a year now, sentence when this had first begun, and yet this was my first time I was fully realizing what I was. The words he spoke to me were harsh and cruel, they were like daggers digging deeper with every sentence. But what he spoke of was truth, he tells me I’m no longer human. That I haven’t been trapped in a ship, but inside a metal body designed to destroy.

I try to focus. I close my eyes and try to stay human, but deep down I knew I could never go back to the oblivious state, I was no longer human.

As soon as I came upon this fact almost instantly my mind changed, I was no longer in a fake life. My body parts dissolved into something new, something wicked, something filled with hate. No. I was not going to let this control me. It was a lie. I am human.

Chin boy speaks more, he tells me it is all a dream. Every word he said was true and I knew it, the eggs. Where had I gotten the eggs? It doesn’t take a genius to see he was right, and I was one. I knew it. But I didn’t want to.

“I. am. Human.” I shout out, but the guilt of the lie is tearing me down.

I was not human. My flesh was no longer my own, my body was no longer in my control.

“Oswin, where did you get the milk and eggs? Think about it.” the Doctor said, his voice was filled with anguish.

He was gentle, but his words were harsh. Again with the eggs, it seemed so real. Eggs- eggs… And suddenly I am overrun with anger, every ounce of me that was once human dissolved into complete hatred.

“Eggs..ter...mi..nate,” I started, the words felt right, felt needed, I kept on.

“Exterminate!” I shouted, breaking my chains and advancing on the Doctor.

“Exterminate!” But as I see him panicking and afraid I dissolve into tears.

Why was I so angry? I was I so full of hatred? Why did this man deserve to die? Then I came to a realization. The Dalek’s think that hatred is beautiful. But I think that loving is. I am not a Dalek. Because I can still love. I can love this man I don’t even know, his friends, I can love my memory. I can sacrifice myself in the name of love.

Because my body and flesh are no longer mine, but I am not a Dalek. I will love and I will sacrifice. Things things a real Dalek could never do.

This man was supposed to be my savior, he was supposed to rescue me… and now he is my destruction. But I will willing do whatever it takes, I will die defying the Daleks. I will die in an act of love.

I am not a Dalek, I am human.